It is amazing to me that two and a half weeks ago our life was normal and now it has taken all these crazy twists and turns. It seems to have been turned inside out and shaken.
Never take your 'normal' for granted!
Everything is kind of a blur and it has been a very emotional week for our family.That hospital stay made it feel like time stood still, but of course, it didn't and now the calendar in my head is off. Also, I'm not sure what I have shared here and what posts I just 'wrote' in my head.
Wednesday we received some bad news at the cancer hospital and so we are clinging to the Good News of the gospel!
The esophageal cancer that Hubby had last year has moved to his lungs. I'm reminding myself that the 'stages' and the terms are man's definitions and God is above all of these! And nothing is impossible for Him.
Yesterday, Hubby started an aggressive chemo plan. You know you are in the infusion center, when you see a grown woman hugging her teddy bear and waiting for treatment.
Chemo is rough!!!
Frankly, I can't believe Hubby has to do it again. So far he feels good, but that is due to some lovely steroids that you have to take before and after. He may not be feeling well for long...
but he SHOULD be feeling OK for Zac's wedding, which is I think, two weeks away! Thankful for that!
What makes my heart so sad about doing chemo is the fact that last time either it or the drugs changed his personality for a time. And then he went into an almost comatose kind of state for awhile and it was like he wasn't there. Then add to that the unbearable suffering we all had to witness him go through and well, you get the idea....It was awful.
So, this time I kind of know what to expect (but I'm absolutely believing for better!!!) and I feel like the guy he is, is about to leave me for an extended time and that makes me so sad...
Nathan is leaving CA and moving home to be with us for the next several months and we are all so thrilled about that. What a dear young man to put his life on hold and want to come home and serve us and spend time with his Dad. May God bless him!
Two weeks ago, when we were in the ER, a doctor came in and told us Hubby had fluid in his left lung and that it was probably caused by cancer...so I shed some tears of course, and she said some comforting things and then left. Next, the resident physician took a turn coming in and he knew we had just heard that news. But by then, I think Hubby had said something funny anyway, we were both smiling when he walked in and he was almost angry. (weirdest thing!) And then he said "Are you _____(Hubby's full name)? Then why are you smiling?!" He was serious.
(How is that for no bed side manner, good grief?!)
But if I had to relive that situation again, I would like to have had the presence of mind to say
"Because he knows The Great Physician, Jesus!"
Even in suffering he smiles!
It is that glorious Good News that will do that to a guy!
Blessings,
~Becky
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